you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize