Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
