Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
