i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
