I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize