we have officially lost it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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