My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
