The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't think brook has ever known best
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Found your dick twin last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
