That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
