Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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