You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
