Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
