My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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