Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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