i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
