the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
