I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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