i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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