do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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