she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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