I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
