So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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