Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?