Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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  (410): To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor... http://tfl.nu/oppe
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Well thats $24,000 well spent.

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  (706): Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me. (1-706): Well thats $24,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/bc5q
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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  (206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.

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  (702): she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/em4c
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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  (314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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  (623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

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  (713): I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far" http://tfl.nu/dqcq
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  (502): Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely . http://tfl.nu/di6d
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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  (860): ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie http://tfl.nu/a0bb
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

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  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  next time we drink: battle shots.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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  (403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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  (402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident

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  (506): Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident http://tfl.nu/1apo
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.

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  (203): also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them. http://tfl.nu/9avq
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

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  (774): So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore. (508): Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth http://tfl.nu/ay7w
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