Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.

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(678): Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too. http://tfl.nu/ijhr

Replies (45) Good night (7662) Bad night (1018)
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(650): View more from California

How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

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(650): How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list? http://tfl.nu/v2ct

Replies (28) Good night (1187) Bad night (4723)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.

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(859): It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl. http://tfl.nu/qaad

Replies (19) Good night (4321) Bad night (1299)
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(631): View more from New York

He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.

(205): View more from Alabama

I hate freshman.

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(631): He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them. (205): I hate freshman. http://tfl.nu/44or

Replies (23) Good night (1904) Bad night (5315)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

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(570): I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem. http://tfl.nu/6woq

Replies (3) Good night (2761) Bad night (776)
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(713): View more from Texas

I want to celebrate with you...

(214): View more from Texas

There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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(713): I want to celebrate with you... (214): There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner. http://tfl.nu/n2zn

Replies (3) Good night (1642) Bad night (644)
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(585): View more from New York

you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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(585): you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink.. http://tfl.nu/9bld

Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (1036)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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(757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju

Replies (25) Good night (3455) Bad night (719)
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(313): View more from Michigan

When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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(313): When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand. http://tfl.nu/rx8e

Replies (13) Good night (851) Bad night (1837)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.

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(304): Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE. http://tfl.nu/c4re

Replies (6) Good night (1763) Bad night (530)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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(+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz

Replies (14) Good night (2322) Bad night (580)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.

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(602): I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this. http://tfl.nu/45kx

Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (275)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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(614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf

Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (243)
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(315): View more from New York

He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...

(1-315): View more from New York

Hahah. That's good.

(315): View more from New York

I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...

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(315): He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand... (1-315): Hahah. That's good. (315): I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out... http://tfl.nu/bifv

Replies (5) Good night (328) Bad night (486)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.

(505): View more from New Mexico

...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.

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(505): wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days. (505): ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it. http://tfl.nu/p1xm

Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (357)

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