Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.

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  (215): Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend. http://tfl.nu/kqgl
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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  (607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom. (1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts. http://tfl.nu/s0vw
  Replies (15) Good night (2432) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

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  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (8146) Bad night (73129)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms

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  (412): as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms http://tfl.nu/8b7n
  Replies (24) Good night (3197) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i do.

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  (256): from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot. (334): i do. http://tfl.nu/nohm
  Replies (14) Good night (5566) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11164) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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  (806): Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit. http://tfl.nu/p6mu
  Replies (9) Good night (2256) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3497) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

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  (978): I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call. http://tfl.nu/ftpa
  Replies (18) Good night (2543) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.

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  (206): You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick. http://tfl.nu/hzir
  Replies (12) Good night (2551) Bad night (935)
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  (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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  (002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1810) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.

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  (816): Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again. http://tfl.nu/9z7k
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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  (701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.

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  (660): I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now. http://tfl.nu/b4q6
  Replies (5) Good night (1172) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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  (401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse http://tfl.nu/uyp3
  Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (350)

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