Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.