i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
