we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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