i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
