if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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