I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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