Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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