Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let's get the cat blown out
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
