So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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