Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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