She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
