"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
