You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
