So drunk its hurt
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
