Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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