i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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