Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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