And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
