There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
