So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
