This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
