I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..