It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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