as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is Oprah even human
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
