We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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