you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
