You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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