You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
