Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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