She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
third nipple confirmed
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i now understand why vodka
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
