tell your sister to shave her snatch
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
