I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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