At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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