I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
