If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize