i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone shattered a urinal.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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