I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
