its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
