On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish you could order shots online.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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